Wednesday, July 20, 2011

50 "Americanisms" that Piss Brits Off.

50 Americanisms that Piss Brits Off

I take exception to several of these.  Most Americans don't know what a "fortnight" is (two weeks), nor a "stone" (although saying "11 stone, 4 pounds" is a lot better than saying 158 pounds.  Not that I'm revealing anything here, of course).  And what is a cheater?  (Windbreaker).  Trainers? (Sneakers).  A jumper is a pullover and we all know what trousers are but who the heck says "trousers" any more?

Many Americanisms, as one commenter suggested, come from poor grammar to begin with.  "Where are you at?" makes me cringe like nails on a blackboard.  If my kids say it, I say, "Between the A and the T".  Reminds me of a joke I once heard, about a Southern Belle who, visiting New York, was invited to a soiree by a society maven.  Being the friendly girl she was, she approached two snooty broads, and chirped, "Hi, where are y'all from?"  Looking down their noses at her like they had just stepped in something, one of them smirked, "We are from a place where we do not end our sentences with a preposition."  The Southern Belle, without missing a beat, smiled her most evil smile and shooting daggers with her eyes, blurted, "Oh, I'm so SOrry!  Where are y'all from, BITCH?"

I cannot abide by "Me and Lynn are going to the store."  My kids say it a lot, but now all I have to do is look at them sideways for them to realize the error of their ways.  My mother was the original grammar enforcer .. we were (and still are) corrected when we say "bring" rather than "take" or "lay" rather than "lie".  I never ever tell my kids to "LAY DOWN" because my mother is looking over my shoulder saying "It's LIE down, dammit! You 'lay' an egg.  Are you a chicken?"  Gotta love her, my mom.

Don't get me started on punctuation.  If I see another apostrophe used to make a plural I will slit my wrists.  There is even a great blog out there in the internet-mosphere called "Apostrophe Abuse".  God bless the person who writes it.  "The Oatmeal" is also a great site for how to use and spell tricky words (and has many other humorous things).

I'm still on hiatus here, but I saw this article and thought my British friends would appreciate it.  The movers just left and I'm sitting on the floor of my empty apartment.  Change is hard ... but not changing is harder.

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