Thursday, March 20, 2008

Too Funny Not to Share

True Friendship
None of that Sissy Crap

Are you tired of those sissy 'friendship' poems that always sound good, butnever actually come close to reality?  Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true       friendship.  You will see no cutesy little smiley faces on this card; just the stone cold truth of our great friendship.        
        1. When you are sad -- I will jump on the person who made you sad
          like a spider monkey jacked up on mountain dew.
        2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is
        choking you.
        3. When you smile -- I will know you are plotting something that
        I must be involved in.
        4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every
        chance I get.
        5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories
        about how much Worse it could be until you quit whining.
        6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.
        7. When you are sick -- Stay away from me until you are well
        Again. I don't want whatever  you have.
        8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy butt.
        9. This is my oath.... I pledge it to the end. 'Why?' you may ask;
        'because you are my friend'.
        Friendship is like peeing your pants,
        everyone can see it,
        But only you can feel the true warmth..

Saturday, March 8, 2008

Please Sign this Petition to Make Sleepovers Illegal

<sigh>  I know they are fun.  I know I went to them when I was a kid.  But crimenentlies*, they are torture for the parents.  Christian only invited 4 boys, but we were awakened at 4:15 a.m. by the sound of them playing darts in the game room directly below our bedroom.  I went downstairs to find Christian sleeping soundly on the couch, his hands & feet duct-taped together.  There was also a can of shaving cream there, but mercifully I don't think it was used at any time.  The other four monsters -- er, I mean boys, were running around the room, doing what I don't know.  I told them this was a SLEEPover and they needed to settle down and sleep.  To the best of my knowledge they did, and slept until 10 a.m.

And to extend the torture, Lisa is having a sleepover next Friday night with TEN girls.  What am I nuts????  TEN screaming, giggling girls.  Tune in next week to see if Mom survives the insanity.


*Some weird expression my mom used to use.  As in, "Crimenentlies, can't you clean up your room?"