Last night I was at dinner with friends, and we began talking about adoption. One other girl at dinner had just brought her daughter home from China. I wish I could educate people about sensitive issues in adoption. Here are some things that I have been asked, and how I wish I had responded at the time:
My daughter(s) are Asian, not Oriental. Oriental is a lamp or a rug.
"How much did it cost?" is not an appropriate question. I usually say something like, "Not as much as your last new car ..." to emphasize how most people wouldn't think twice about plunking down $20K or so for a new vehicle. Isn't a child more precious than a car? And no, we don't have piles of money lying around our house (people have said, "wow you must be rich!) We used creative financing. That's all I will say about that.
"Do you know anything about her real parents?" We are her real parents.
"Gee, why would you go overseas to adopt when there are so many kids here that need homes?" Well, in our case, we wanted to travel overseas to find our daughter. I grew up in Southeast Asia, and studied Russian language and history all through college. I felt very connected to a Russian-speaking country, and knew that our daughter was Asian. Hence, we found her in Kazazkhstan.